Saturday, November 13, 2010

Much Ado...

Upon waking up, this morning, I knew that today, I must:

A. Take a shower.

B. Do my hair because I had gone too many weeks looking like a (the) minivan mom (that I am).

C. Go to Trader Joe's because we are ridiculously low on food.

Tasks that would seem simple to most, but for me are monumental, and I was determined to succeed!

Before I got to shower, there were basic things around the house that I needed to at least attempt to accomplish. Dishes and laundry are the least favorite of my domestic chores and avoid them like a bikini pool party... so, I wasn't exactly disappointed when the babies woke up from their morning nap in the middle of all that pleasantness. Oh, darn!

I got the babies changed and the kids fed and they all seemed pretty content... so, I thought it was an opportune time to jump in the shower. I normally take lightning-speed, 3 minute showers, but, today I was going to wash my hair of the crusted spit-up it was sporting- so, this shower could possibly take as long as 6 whole minutes! I placed the babies in their Jumperoo entertainment center contraption thingies, the girls seemed content playing with their Barbie's nearby and I asked them "could you please make the babies happy if they fuss while I'm in the shower?", they nodded their heads yes and I thought surely I had just bought myself 10 minutes. Shower time!

I sudsed and scrubbed and was covered in soap and bubbles, enjoying the quiet, when just one minute in... dun dun dun... could it be? Could all four kids be screaming and crying at the same time?! I turned off the water to listen and monitor the level of seriousness. Okay, Bea was quiet, the girls were obviously fighting, and... Atticus sounded almost happy? I think he was actually shrieking in delight! The girls screams began to escalate, so I hopped out of the shower and grabbed a towel, but still managed to trail water down the hall and through the living room. The girls each were white knuckling opposite ends of the same Barbie. "Who had it first?!" I barked at them, "I did!!" They screamed simultaneously. Oh, for Pete's sake. I confiscated the Barbie, stashed it in a high, out of reach cupboard and sent the girls to opposite corners for well deserved time-outs- all while sopping wet, soapy and wrapped in a towel- I then swiftly returned to the still running shower. At this point, enjoying a quiet moment was not an option- rinsing was my goal and rinse I did, but not soon enough. I heard a loud thud in the hall and knew immediately what had happened. Damn it. I didn't wipe up the water in the hall and Aurora had slipped in it and fell. She was now screaming and both Beatrix Atticus picked that moment to start crying, as well. Yes! Pile it on, kids!

After my pathetic attempt at a shower, I made lunch for the girls, while rotating the babies between different contraptions.. I asked the girls if they could sing to the babies while I made their sandwiches, which they did for about 30 seconds. Then, the babies started to fuss (gee, thanks for the help, kids) and it was clear that their big sisters had vanished from the room... and then the house suddenly got quiet... too quiet... and that's when it's time to worry. So, I stopped what I was doing and went to look for them. I could see them both standing very still in the backyard, looking down at something on the grass. Ariel had her hands over her mouth and both had their eyes open wide... "What are you girls looking at?" I asked. Ariel answered "Mom! Token is eating a rat and you can see it's guts!" Aurora added "Yeah, and there's so much blood!". Great. Now I get to clean up shredded rat remains before somebody steps in them... oh, and bathing Token, the devil cat, should probably be put on that list, too.

I knew it wouldn't be easy to maneuver Trader Joe's with the kids, but, why do I always underestimate the difficulty of just getting everybody out of the actual house to go there?? There was no time or energy left for that, nor for the doing-of-hair. There was only time for mommy to take a much needed nap, yes, a na- oh, wait... never mind... well, I got a shower and the cat got a bath. That's impressive. We can eat mac and cheese.


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  2. Oh honey, I feel for ya. I've only got two kids, but often had my step children as well (plus their little sister) and had 5 to juggle. Keep writing. It's a great outlet. And one day you can look back, gather all these up and have a #1 best seller! You'll be rolling in dough! LOL Ok....we moms have to have our little fantasies, right? My daughter is now 14 and that is an entirely new set of issues. Sometimes I wish she were still 5.

  3. I do believe my head just exploded at the simple stress of *reading* about your day!! The memories it brings back make me shudder - that stress of figuring out when to shower! And I only had ONE at a time as a baby.

    I hope that writing does help and that knowing so many of us reading are cheering you on and totally empathizing with you gives you some comfort.

  4. Wow what a day and to think in the years to come you will look back on this and wish you could do it all over. well maybe not the whole cat thing but having little ones causing a free for all. hope you get a longer shower next time. hugs and kisses to you and the kids.

  5. Lisa! Wow...I so admire you for being such a fabulous mother (although you may disagree at times, you really ARE)! Since Erin has introduced me to you blog I enjoy reading it and love to see that you are able to find the fun and humor in your somewhat chaotic days and are able to share it with all of us. Your family is absolutely beautiful and I hope I can be half the mother you are when I have at least one child!
    - Colleen (Harrigan) Shively

  6. Thank you for all of the nice comments!

    Colleen, thank you! I'm so glad you're enjoying it, it really means a lot that you do :)

  7. Lisa, I am a new reader of your blog as of yesterday, and I completely am thrilled to see that you can see the humour in your daily life with your kids. I never had children, and spoil my nephew as much as I can, whenever I can. You have a loyal reader here ... I love hearing how life is going for you, and am so proud of you. Keep writing, we will keep reading and cheering you on. :-) Saraphina

  8. wow...i am so inspired about how you can keep it together and keep it positive! having kids is amazing, but also amazingly challenging as i have found! i am finding it fun to read about your adventures as they mirror mine with my kids (3&5), only probably times 100. and just when i thought i had more than i could take i read this post! glad i'm not alone in the craziness. also so glad erin shared your blog! :) stay strong mama!