Tuesday, November 16, 2010

TWIIIIINNNSSS!!!!!!!!!

 I've gotten pretty good about toting the twins around when I'm out and about, but there's no way to stay low-key with twins. Absolutely everywhere I go, somebody has to make a comment.

"Wow, you've got your hands full!" is #1, and as much as I want to say "Yeah, no sh*t!", I usually just smile and say "Yup, I sure do!", little do they know that this is only half of my kids, but I leave that part out because that's just asking for more comments, and looks of pity.  If I'm out with all four and they see the twins, I'll hear "Looks like you went for #3 and got a big surprise, eh?", or some other version of that. The one that I'm most surprised by is, "Are they natural or did you do fertility treatments?" or if I mention what a surprise the babies were, they'll say "Oh, you mean you didn't do IVF?" with a shocked expression- not that there's anything wrong with fertility treatments, I just can't believe how bold people can be to a stranger, and I also don't see why it matters? Then there's "Do they run in yours or your husbands family?" and I say "No, they don't run in my family, they do in my husbands though, but it doesn't make a difference because it has nothing to do with the sperm, it's all about how many eggs you drop." They usually look at me a little taken aback, having just been given a somewhat graphic biology lesson by a total stranger, and I think, hmmm... maybe that was TMI? But, it is a common misconception that I want to clear up, it sure shuts them up, and they then seem more than eager to get away from the nutjob, so, I use it a lot... with a smile.

I also get, "Are they boy/girl?" Me, "Yes.", then they ask "Oh, are they identical?". Really?? They're a boy and a girl and they clearly look nothing alike, hello- Mcfly! But, I know some people just don't know. Honestly, I'm kind of a hypocrite for even getting annoyed, because, I'd probably asked that question before having twins. I've had many a blonde moment in my life, and I also know that people are just trying to be nice and start a conversation because they're curious about the twins. It turns out that people are completely fascinated by twins. I had no idea, before having them, that this is how it is. It happens to all moms of multiples- who knew??

Then, there's the "OMG! OMG! TWIIIINNSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! I WANT TWIIIIINNNSSS!!!!!". This one cracks me up, because I used to be one of these people. I totally wanted twins, but thought I'd surely never have them, so it was more like a "Oh, that'd be cool, but it will never happen." kind of thing. So, I tell these girls (because they're often, like, 17 year olds saying this to me) "I used to say that... and I'd say it again because it IS awesome." and for the teenagers I'll add "But, it's a lot of work, so, wait about 10 years before you have kids." My little PSA for the day.

It really is awesome. That's what I want to say to the people who give me those looks of pity and say "Oh, you poor thing." Really. People say this to me. Sometimes I don't want to give them the pleasure of sounding overly defensive and/or I don't have time to really get into it, so I ignore them. But, if I'm in the mood to set them straight, I ask "Why do you say that?", so they feel uncomfortable for being so rude. Then, they usually mumble something about how hard it must be, and then walk away. My favorite reaction to my family is when somebody says to me "What a blessing!". Now, I'm about as far from religious as you can get, but that makes me smile, and I usually respond with "Thank you, they really are a blessing!".

When I was at Toys R Us, yesterday, a woman came up to me and started shrieking "OMG- TWIIIINNNSSSS! I WANT TWINS!!! You've got your hands full! Are they identical? Do they run in your family? Did you use IVF?? You poor thing!" I was so shocked that I couldn't think of anything to say- I'm sure my face was priceless. She gave it a moment, then started laughing and said "Sorry, I'm totally kidding. I have twins and I've always wanted to do that to somebody else!". Brilliant! We both had a good laugh and then went about our shopping.

I really should just pass out cards that say:

Yes, I'm aware that I've got my hands full.
They are fraternal boy/girl twins.
No, they don't run in my family,
No, I didn't use fertility treatments,
and, I love my big family.





26 comments:

  1. ok so i must admit i've been guilty of all those quotes but honestly i did want twins i knew in my heart that if i werer lucky enough to get pregnant i would have one shot at it and i wanted it to count. at last i have one and i am more then thankful for my little miracle but there are days that i truly envy women like you who have a houseful of children what i wouldn't give to have my hands full like that. you are truly blessed and i love hearing about your everyday antics with th ekids and the people you encounter. big hugs to you and the kids and many blessings sent your way. keep the post coming.

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  2. Just want to say, Lisa, you are one hell of a lady! I'm in awe with your way with words. Children are a blessing, but also a handfull, I know and I only have one ;)

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  3. Hi Lisa, I love ur blog, I enjoy reading it and I also practise my english (im from Europe) The ending made me laugh - the woman who shocked u :D
    Keep on writing, and wish u and ur family love and light and many stories for us - readers. Btw I know few twins I went to school with boy and girl who were fraternal like yours, and one tearech who I had on high school has brother - they are identical it was really surprise see them...have a nice peaceful day if it is possible ;) bye Vanda

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  4. Hi Lisa! I love reading your blog. And as a mother of twins myself, I totally relate to what you are talking about here. I heard those comments 30 years ago .... times never change!

    Twins are a lot of work as infants, but they are so darn fun to love and watch them interact. And the hidden blessing comes when they turn into toddlers and entertain themselves. I never got tired of hearing 'Mommy' from my twins like I did from my single-birth child.

    You and Monte have many great adventures ahead of you. With your down-to-earth attitude, you'll most definitely enjoy the ride!

    PS..Find yourself a Mother of Twins Club...its a great place to find people who truly understand you.

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  5. McFly!!!!!! LOL! Lisa, you just keep rocking! I also have 4 kids...no twins, but yes the comments, too, about having my hands full, etc. Love my big family and would never imagine a life without all my blessings! @NDGlambert

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  6. This made me smile. I have four children, two of whom are identical twin girls. We live in Scotland and the questions obviously don't vary much between countries!

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  7. Oh gosh, I'm a twin and it's super funny to hear what people say. My (identical) twin sister is a little smaller/shorter than me due to some health problems, so the thing that bugs me is when a neighbor says, "How's your LITTLE sister?" Okay, she's only 15 minutes younger, calm down.

    Also, when we were young, my mom would take me and my siblings out. Me, my twin sister, and my two brothers, who are 1.5 years apart - and really look nothing alike. The most common thing said to her? "Oh WOW, TWO sets of twins!" ... Well, no actually.

    That said, I can't believe how big the babies are getting, and I'm so happy to see that they're healthy! Take care!

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  8. you continue to Entertain me ..........
    keep it coming.... you are destine to be a #1 Book

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  9. Hi Lisa.

    They are gorgeous! What a beautiful family you have! Virtual hug!

    How's that?

    XO
    Gloria

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  10. The twins are absolutely beautiful, and so are you! I always enjoy your down-to-earth take on life with a healthy dose of humor . . . Happy Holiday Shopping!

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  11. Lisa,
    Kudo's to you for your patience with strangers and their comments. Your family is beautiful. I have triplets and remember very well all the inappropriate comments. Why do people believe it is okay to pry into your personal life. Your blog is awesome, I totally enjoy and the pictures are beautiful.
    Enjoy them while they are young!!! My 3 just started college.

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  12. Hellow! How do you do!
    Little twins so (uuuuuuuu~)
    KA.WA.I.I.! metya metya.kawaii! ^^

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  13. When out with my twins, I had someone tell me "I'm sure glad it's you and not me". My reply was, "So am I, So am I". :)

    They're now 14, it gets better. Hang in there.

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  14. That's too funny. I have been fascinated with twins as long as I can remember. I even did a paper on twins in high school and often find myself correcting people about the 'does it run in the dad's family' comments.

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  15. Wow Lisa, you are an inspiration to Moms everywhere!! For the record, I have 1 grown son who has 2 sons and 1 daughter, no twins.And since I became a nurse at age 23 and my first 5 years was OB/GYN, L&D and nursery, which all began way back in 1973. So I can say I have never bugged a Mom of twins, though watching them with the double strollers always makes me smile for some reason, ha!
    And I was thinking, Monte has quite a great gig now, doesn't he? Though it keeps him on the road, that's maybe good for those times when those little scissors are near, Haha!
    All your children are beautiful (hmm..must get that from YOU, sorry Monte, hehehe, J/K)
    IF you ever find the time, I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts on Octomom, lol. I bet her place makes yours seem tranquil in comparison...huh?
    Please keep writing and we will keep reading and responding Lisa! Much Love and Light, Rose! :D

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  16. I love reading about your little monkeys and your crazy life and encounters! I have to admit, I have some pretty crazy comments and questions too! Since I have girls at 21,15 and 4,and YES, by the same man, that being the most asked question, I get the OMG alot and why would you have another one when you were almost home free? Well, believe it or not, it was not an accident - I really wanted another child and it just took some patience in between mine! And being home free? When are we ever home free after children? My oldest being 21, I still worry non stop about her, make her call me when she leaves our house after visiting, wonder where she is and the list goes on! Children are what makes us who we are - whether that be sane or insane! You gotta love the variety it brings to our life :) And you definitely know about that! Lisa, you are an incredible mom and wife and it is amazing to hear about a day in your life and that you can actually find the time to blog about it between feedings,hissy fits, diaper changing and bathing cats after eating a bloody mangled dead rat! lol Take care and a toast to you and your sanity :)

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  17. LIsa - what a wonderful thing to read. You have such patience and class with the situations you describe. Funny too. It seems with you & Monte as parents, your kids have a great foundation and will know love & security always.

    Claudia Collins

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  18. The things people will say to strangers never ceases to amaze me! People really ask if you had IVF? Just wow! I really enjoy your blog,and you are a truly gifted writer. Hope you keep taking time out of your busy schedule to post! Thanks so much for sharing your personal adventures with me.

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  19. I love your musings and your POV on outside reactions to your family! Thank you for sharing!

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  20. Lisa - I love reading your blogs. Thanks for sharing.
    I'm amazed that people can be so clueless. But mostly I think they mean well, so you just have to laugh, which you are. So that's good.
    I come from a family of 6 kids (y'know, the average Italian, Catholic family), and all the siblings have a lot of kids too (one sister has 5). No twins but all within a year of each other. Big families are the best. Never a dull moment. You are blessed and you don't have to be religious to believe that.
    Good luck and hang in there. Only 18 more years to go!
    That picture is precious. If I ever see you I promise I won't ask any inappropriate questions, but I WILL oohh, and aaah a lot over the kids. :-)

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  21. Your blog of today, are my memories of yesteryear. I'm a Mom of twins. Fraternal boys, one with light hair the other dark. I would still get the question fraternal or identical? All the other questions too. My brother having a little fun on one of our outings told the waitress when she asked "fraternal"? he responded, "yes same father, different mothers" haha God love him. All the other words of concern and support too. Annoying sometimes, but felt special because there really is a connection that will be there for a lifetime. Not only of myself with other Moms of multiples, but between the boys themselves. They are my only kids, but especially since they were my first, the look of sympathy was really poured on, and often came from others that had more children, of varying ages coming and going in all directions with different needs and schedules, and they had no idea I was actually more in awe of them.

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  22. Another great blog post..

    Someday you gotta write a book, Lisa ;)

    Big hugs from San Francisco & love to Monte on his birthday!

    xoxo, L

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  23. Love this! Lisa, you are amazing! We only had one older child, a 6 year old. And they were my grandchildren, so didn't have them full time. I have "talked" to you on Twitter; I am mimiMH. Our favorite comments on our twins when they were babies: #1: "Are they more work?" (No, we just feed one, and then feed the other, then diaper one & diaper the other...no biggie). #2: "...Are they girls?" (They had on dresses and pink tights & bows in their hair) & #3: "Are they twins?" (No, we borrowed someone else's baby to take shopping with us cause shopping with one baby is not hard enough)! I remember panicking when I had them by myself when they were babies. Who do I put in the car first & who do I leave where by themselves while I put in or remove from the car? And the time I set the 18 month olds down on the ground from their car seats and one went in one direction and one in the other and I was by myself....kudos to you Lisa! And to my Lisa who is the twins mother and my daughter. Although my twins father did come home every night unlike Lisariffic!

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  24. And yes, the question "Fraternal or identical?" and the twins, (my granddaughters are 11 now) one is blonde and the other dark, so they are obviously fraternal. Forgot to put this in my other comment, I am mimiMH on twitter, Lisa, have 'talked' to you there about the joy of twins which is another thing someone said to me when I had them out alone, "Uh, Oh, double trouble!" I just looked at her and said, "Lucky us, it is double the love!" And now, my twin granddaughters, Phoebe and Nica, told me they hate to be called "the twins" or "the girls." MaryHelen on FB & mimiMH on twitter.

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  25. Hi Lisa,

    Thank you for sharing your real experiences with us. You have such a great perspective on life and you truly understand the meaning of love and family!
    Vent anytime~~that's what we are all here for! :))

    xo
    lisa h.

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  26. I have 7 year old boy/girl twins and so remember the old "Are they identical?" question. Floored me every time and the fact my son is blue eyed/blond haired and my daughter is brown haired/brown eyed never clued them in either. lol.

    Love this blog, my oldest is almost 10 and it was nutty when they were all toddlers but you muddle through and now it is homework, homework, homework and all the other fun stuff, like soccer, karate, etc. :)

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